Friday, February 1, 2013

Oh, look!! It's February 2013!!

Okay. The title was a little joke. My friend asked me today whether my blog is dead or alive. Fine. I will admit it. I am lazy. So what was I up to since graduation. One word will sum it all up. WORK. Well, mainly work. I spent my Christmas at Singapore. It was wonderful.

What is my work? Hmm.. Some of you will not even believe it. I was and still am a teacher. Okay, okay. You can laugh or gasp or have whatever reaction you want now. After graduation, I worked 2 part time job. One for my aunt at her kindergarten. My kids are 2 to 4 years old there. I was known as Teacher Ethel there. My other job was a teacher at a child care center for primary school students. My students were Standard 4 and 5 students. I taught 6 years old kids for a while too. I was known as 邱老师 there. My Chinese surname.

One thing's for sure. I am terrible with children. Absolutely no patience. Now, before I go to college, I am a teacher for my aunt again. I am the class teacher for 3-year-olds. Nursery class. I will admit it. I hate my job. I am really no good with children at this age. I rather teach older kids than kids at this young age. I really don't know how to communicate with them. I do grumble and complain most of the time. But people just say it's good training and experience and stuff. Whatever.

Well, at the bright side I survived the first month of work. The kids are okay, I guess. Quite amusing sometimes. But some are quite spoiled by their parents. Okay. All of them are spoiled by their parents. I get mad at them sometimes. But again, they are just 3 year old. What can you expect? Nothing much.

I guess this is pretty much my life since graduation. Nothing tremendously exciting. =D

Friday, November 2, 2012

Graduation and Prom.

This is my certificate of graduation. I have graduated from high school. 6 years of high school completed. It's actually kinda hard to believe it. I felt like I am having a dream. It felt a little unreal. I really can't believe that I had successfully finished 6 years of high school, the toughest time of my life. Wow. Praise the Lord and thank God. Thinking back, I really thank God for His blessings and grace. If He isn't with me, I would have given up long, long time ago.

The graduation ceremony was okay. A little boring but okay. At the end of the ceremony, all the teachers form a long line and all graduates walk along the line to shake hands with them and thank them. Lots of students got teary there. Including me. Ops. I hug some of my favorite teachers and just sob. Some teacher were also crying. It was a happy yet also sad occasion. The best moment was when I walk across the stage at my school hall and took my certificate from one of the VIPs. I was so happy. I succeed. =D

The farewell tea party after the ceremony was also fun. Lots of students walk around, taking photos and signing the yearbook and school blouse. Some parents came too. My sister came. I was glad she came to witness my graduation. Well, I saw her graduate. It's only fair that she come to my graduation too. =D I had quite a good time taking lots of photos with my teachers and friends. I love them so. Even though I can't wait to get out of the school, but I will miss them a lot. Miss the times when we argue and fight. Miss the times when my teachers yell at us. Oh well. The good old time, eh? =D

I have to specially talk about this girl. See, both of us were best buddies before I met Abi. Even after I met Abi, we were still best buddies. But during Senior 1, we had a fight and that was the end of our friendship. It was my fault. I shouldn't have told her extremely embarrassing story without her permission to Abi and then yell at her for not listening to my explanation for telling Abi. It was totally my fault. I tried to apologize to her. But she wouldn't listen and accept. So we never talk anymore. When we cross paths, we act as if we never know each other. It was painful and hurting. Over the last 2 years, I keep praying to God about her and telling God how sorry I am and all that. But yesterday, she came over to me and talked to me. After 3 years, she came to me and accepted my apology. I was so glad. On our last day, we were able to settle our disagreement and leave with a peaceful heart. Thank God! Praise the Lord! I was so, so glad.

So, prom night. Our theme was Masquerade. It means you have to wear formal clothing and a mask to attend. So, after the farewell party, I went to one of my friend's house. We took our baths and then her mother took us to a salon to have our hair and make up done. Well, once in a lifetime. So I just indulge myself in making myself look decent. I must admit, the result was quite satisfying. Though it cost me RM 30 for the hair and RM 30 for the make up, but it was quite worth it. I look awesome. (according to my friends and sister and mother.)

When we reach the place were our prom will be held, some of my classmates were already there. They almost couldn't recognize me. I am serious. They were so used to seeing me in specs and hair all pin up and tie up, they could hardly believe it was me yesterday. I wore contacts yesterday. I borrow earrings, necklace, a strapless peach color dress and black high heels from my sister. Everybody told me the dress suited me and I look really beautiful. Okay, it was very flattering and I was blushing a lot. People seldom say I am beautiful. *blush*

The first picture was my hairstyle. I had a hairpin headache when I came home. The hairstylist used only hairpins and hairspray to do my hair. It was a hair disaster when my sister helped me took out all those hairpins. I had to stand under the shower for almost 15 minutes to wash off all those hairspray. Gosh. The second picture was me at the place were our prom was held. The make up was okay. The third picture was me, full length. The last one is me with my mask on. I bought it for RM 2.90 at MBO, a shopping center near my school. Nice, right? With the pink feathers and peacock feather. Haha.

All in all, yesterday was a fantastic day. I had lots of fun. My last day as a high school student. Good bye, high school life. Hello, university life. One chapter of my life has ended and a new one is about to begin. =D

Saturday, October 27, 2012

What I have been up to......

Ahhhh... UEC is FINALLY over. Awesome. Now, I can do anything and everything I like. Graduation is next Thursday. I really can't wait. Life was really hard before and during exam. Couldn't sleep and all. But I came through. I really did endure everything. I felt like a champion after I finished my final paper on Thursday. I was so very relieve and glad. The pressure was off and I throw my text books away forever. I won't need to face another text book for some time. It was really great.

The last 6 years of my high school was okay. Not very active in class. Always the quiet, studious one. But I can be quite sampat when I want to. Haha. Got a bunch of loving and awesome friends. I was really lucky to have to as my close friends. They were always there to encourage me when things got tough. They stood by me when I was in distress. I love them a lot. They are so, so awesome. They are my bunch of really crazy friends. Haha.

The last two days were inter-class volleyball competition. Sadly, my class didn't win. But it's okay. The best part is that I participated after lying low for 2 years. Why was I lying low? Hmm.. Let's just say that my 3 years of Junior weren't nice and I got really scared. So I lied low. But after exam, one of my best guy friend had a talk with me. If it weren't for him, I would have continued to lie low until graduation. He told me that I am graduating soon and I should take some memories with me. Memories of me with my class. At least next time I have some stories to tell my grand kids. (if I have any.. haha..) He was right. I looked back and I found out that my high school life is like a piece of white paper. So I am coloring it now with some colors. I paid a price for my participation in the volleyball competition. Both my wrist have bruises on them. It looked like I was abused. Haha. Oh well, even though we didn't win, at least we had fun. =D I know I did enjoy myself. =D

I also went to my first and last tea party. I have never went to any tea parties organized by my class for my whole high school life. So Thursday, I went. It was so fun! I was so high and all that. Haha. We had it at one of my classmate's house. We sat outside, eating and laughing and talking. It was really fun and awesome. I never know it will be so fun. I didn't regret going. Thanks to that same guy friend who talk some courage into me to step out of my protective shield. I am really glad I have all these nice memories with my class this year. Awesome. =D

My driving career is taking off. Haha. I drove to school alone for the 1st time today. Well, no classes and I need to get to school for the volleyball competition. My parents decided to let me drive. It was so awesome!! Though I had to be very alert all the time, it was still fun. Of course, I drove an auto car. Mom's Avanza. I had lots of close calls before this though. I drove around KK (the place I am staying, not Sabah..) and traffic here isn't as smooth as a baby's skin. Even though being able to drive without parental supervision means total freedom, but, as my second sister said, smart people let other people drive. That is so true. It was a risk you choose to take when you choose to drive. Anything can still happen even if you are the most careful person in the whole wide world. I will be careful, don't worry. Now that I can drive on high ways without parental supervision, life is going to be a lot easier. Hehehehe..

I found a part time job. Working for my aunt. Child care. (Ew.) Going to Singapore again this year end for Christmas. Maybe will take a trip down to Johor to meet up with a guy friend sometime next  year. I wanna go Lego Land. Haha. Life is okay. Really awesome. Next post, it will be about graduation and prom!!! =D Next Thursday!! I can't wait for it to come!!! =D

Monday, September 10, 2012

What a mess.

There's a river that flows
From the fountain of God
And it heals everything along the way
I have tasted and know
That for every broken heart
There is healing in Jesus' name.
-  The River by Carman

It is a song that I learn during M4J. It's nice, isn't it? Very meaningful, touching. What I am trying to say here is, I seek healing from Jesus through this song. It comforts me a lot. Okay. I guess I should get to the point. *sigh sigh* Don't know why but I am a bit reluctant to get to the point here. >.<

After 4 months and 3 days of silence, suddenly he popped out yesterday and I got into a mess. What kind of a mess I think I better not mention here. It was kind of embarrassing. Let's just say it was a surprised and shocked kind of a mess. Oh, I don't even know what am I talking about. Okay. Moving on. 

I have to come clean on something. I cannot remember what happened THAT night. What I mean here is, I don't remember what was said that night. I only remember bits and pieces. Not enough to get a clear answer, though. I often think back to that night, trying to remember what was said, trying to understand what went wrong. But I don't remember anything at all.

I guess that night, my brain was in such a shock that it kind of stopped working and didn't manage to save down what was said that night. So, after the shock, I tried really hard to remember that was said that night. I don't understand why things became like this. I often asked myself why. I wanted to know what went wrong. There were lots of questions in my head but I can't get clear answers because I cannot remember anything. Wait. I got to make one thing clear there. I do NOT blame him. I blame myself for this whole matter. It is so my fault, I guess. What an immature kid I am. x.x

Here's the thing. I thought he made one thing very clear that night. I thought he want to have nothing to do with me anymore. No connections whatsoever. Which means, not even friends. Just strangers. So, why the sudden contact yesterday? 2 missed calls. I didn't purposely don't pick up his phone call, okay. I was doing housework. (I am a very good kid, you know? xD) I must admit, I was quite annoyed and irritated because it threw me into a confusion AGAIN. I hate being confuse. I used don't know how long to get over the confusion and whatever not after that night and another confusion came yesterday. 

Ah. What a mess. I got to say, the first 2 months was awful. After that night, not only I have to deal with, ahem, this emotional problem, I also have to deal with many other problems. Lots of things and problems arise after that night and I almost couldn't cope with it. I really thank God for His grace and blessings. I am perfectly fine now. Seriously. Except for exam stress, things are pretty well under control. Not in the chaos mode before. The last 2 months, I slowly stared to accept that things are like that and I started to work through all those guiltiness and whatever not. I am getting on quite well now, actually. Getting over it. Start again. Things like that.

I guess what I am trying to say is, that chapter of my life has ended whether I like it or not. Letting go and starting over again is the only way I know to get over it. When a trust is broken, it is going to be very hard to gain it back. Gah. Again, what a mess. Just forget the past, live fully in the present and work hard for the future. =D Life can be so messy but also awesome at the same time. Ironic, I know. Haha... 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012


HOME. This is the most comforting and wonderful word right now. I am finally going home. Yea. Home sweet home. After spending don't know how long living like a shepherd, I can finally go home. Looking back, I actually spent the most of my 18 year old life living in other people's house. It wasn't all that bad. Sure, there are times I am frustrated and homesick but all in all, I learn lots of things. Things that I am sure I cannot learn if I stay at my own home.

I learn to adapt quickly to a new environment. I cannot always stay in my comfort zone. Stepping out from my comfort zone, I learn to survive and be more independent. You can say I am not a princess anymore. Haha. Most importantly, I learn to be grateful and appreciate what I have instead of grumbling and complaining my days away. It was a tough lesson but I guess God put me in this kind of situation this year because He wants me to learn some life lessons. Lessons to break the old me and build a new me.

This is still an on-going process, mind you. I can never be perfect. I sometimes still grumble and complain. But lesser. Definitely lesser. xD I found out that life is full of choices. In the morning when you wake up, there is a choice to make already. You can choose to appreciate life and enjoy the day no matter how tough or bad it will become or you can choose to grumble and complain and have a bad, moody day. I figure out that I rather enjoy life rather than to be in a foul mood. What's the point being in a foul mood. Happy or moody, you will still have to go through the day, right? So might as well go through it with a smile than a frown.

Life isn't perfect either. There are always ups and downs. I learn one very important thing. Sometimes it's okay to make mistakes. Seriously. You and I are not perfect people. Sometimes we will make mistakes no matter you like it or not. I have always wanted to be perfect. I don't want to make mistakes. I never want to admit that I am wrong. I want to be always right. So when a problem arises, I will not take the blame. I will always point at other people. This is wrong. When a problem arises, both parties have to take the responsibility and the blame. From all these mistakes, we learn more and grow up more. Trial and error. =D

This is just a part of all the lessons I have learn. More to come later, I guess. Now, I just want to finish packing up my stuff and move back home. Actually, my house isn't entirely done yet. There are still a few things that isn't done. I just don't want to blame or judge the contractor or anyone. I will leave that to God. Who is right and who is wrong doesn't matter to me. I believe God knows everything and justice will the serve when the time comes. Right now, I just want the house to be entirely done and we can pack up the house nicely and just return back to our normal life.

Home, here I come. =D

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

My 18th birthday. =)

I heard a lot of people say 16th, 18th and 21st birthdays are the most important birthdays in your life. I don't know the reason behind it, actually. I only know why 21st birthday is important. As for 16th and 18th, I have no idea. Well, it's my 18th birthday today. I feel kind of old. Gosh. I am 18 already. Wow. Time flies, I guess. Going to graduate from high school and all that.

It's a pretty normal day, actually. Today is the last day of UEC trial exam. So, after exam, my eldest sister, Eileen, came to school and picked me up. We went to Bukit Tinggi JJ and shop around. We went to Popular!! I had a RM 50 voucher and I spent it on 2 books. =D Love the books. Then we went to Vivo for lunch. In honor of my birthday, we ordered a dessert called Chocolate Volcano. It's YUMMY. Yum, yum. It's really delicious. You should try it out if you get the chance. I mean it. It's really delicious. So chocolatey. Yum. Haha.

Then we came back home. Pass the afternoon normally. Then cooked for dinner. Mom came home from work and sister has to rushed off to work. She is a part-time piano teacher. So, left me and mom. Dad and 2nd sister, Eunice, are overseas. So, mom insisted on celebrating my birthday. After dinner, we went to a bakery shop and bought 3 different flavor slices of cake. Then mom insisted on treating me on something else. 3 choices. Chatime, Baskin Robbins or Tutti Frutti. I chose......... Tutti Frutti!! Haha. So we went there and enjoyed ourselves. Indulge ourselves in the frozen yogurt is more appropriate. =D

So that's all for my birthday. No cake cutting. No blowing out candles. But I was touched that quite a lot of my school friends and church friends remembered my birthday and wished me either on Facebook, sms or face to face. Nothing fancy and no big surprises or anything. But it was enough. I am quite touched and very happy.

I want to thank a special best friend here, Jocelyn and her sister aka my Maths tuition teacher, Joann for the lovely present. If I ever get a new rabbit or some other pet, I will surely remember to name it Charlie Pumpkin Soup. In honor of you 2. Haha. I will never forget how we think up of that hilarious name. =D Thank you so much. I will treasure that present forever. =)

I had a very simple and quiet birthday. But it was a happy one. Though no big and expensive presents or huge cake ablaze with candles or a huge party, but I am happy enough. For my friends remembered me and my family is always here with me. I am not alone. =D That is quite enough. I appreciate and treasure all their wishes and blessings.

Yes, I am still a bit sad. Nothing can be completely prefect. 快乐欢喜中带有一点点的伤心,忧伤。How do you say this in English? A little bit of sadness is mixed with your happiness. Whatever. Still, I thank God for all that I have now and appreciate everything now.

The end. Thank you, everyone, for making this day a special day for me. =D Love ya guys a lot. ^^

Saturday, July 28, 2012

You will forever be in my heart.

Fluffy, my rabbit, died early this morning. She was attacked by stray dogs 2 days ago, which was Thursday. Her left front leg was bitten and almost torn off by one of the dogs and it had to be amputated. The surgery was a success but her body cannot regenerate good cells. So it became anti-toxic and it causes heart failure. She died. My closest companion died.

She was attacked at 3 something in the morning at Thursday. My dad heard the noise and came down to check. As you know, my house is still under renovation. The place where you throw out your garbage, the door isn't fix in yet. So, the dogs were able to come into my house. They push around my rabbit's cage and the cage fell off. Her right front leg was slipped through the slit of the cage and got stuck. Her other leg was bitten.

My dad didn't notice her right leg was stuck and he didn't know the other leg was broken. My rabbit fought to live. When the dogs attacked her, she fought back. One of her foot was broken and the other stuck. Yet she continued to try to free herself. Until my sister came back from her university which was about 9 something in her morning, she was still fighting to unstuck her leg. My sister had to take the cage with her inside to the vet cause my sister couldn't free her. The vet had to cut the cage only she can be freed.

She lost so much blood and she was so weak when I went to see her. But she fought to live. She really did. When my sister decided to go ahead with the surgery, my parents was furious. They think that it was unnecessary as she was just an animal. But my sister saw that Fluffy wanted to live. We don't have the power to decided whether she live or die even though she was just an animal. Every living being has the rights to live. We can't take away the rights. So my sister told the vet to do anything they can to save my bunny.

The surgery yesterday was a success. When I went to see her, she was alright though she was unresponsive probably due to the anesthetic and all. The vet said that before she go home at 11 plus, Fluffy was still fine. She was eating and drinking again. But when the vet went back this morning, Fluffy died already.

I thought she can come home today. I was looking forward to see her again. But yesterday was the last time I see her. I just cannot believe it. Her death was so sudden. I don't know how to react to this. She was a fighter. She was so very brave. I am so proud of my dear bunny. I love her so so much. She was the one that welcome me home from school everyday without fail. She was the most gentle and sweet bunny. I just can't believe she is gone. Just like that. Gone. Forever.

She wasn't just an animal to me. She was my closest companion. I just lost a close companion and friend a few months back. Now I lost another one. Fluffy was always there when I am sad and I always talk to her even though I know she didn't understand me. She kept me from being lonely. I really don't know how to go on without her in the future. I feel so lost now. My fragile heart is shattered into pieces and I really don't know how to piece it back again.

She will forever be in my heart. She was the bravest and strongest rabbit I have ever seen. She was a fighter. I will never forget her. I love her and will always love her forever. Goodbye, Fluffy, my dear sweet bunny. Rest in peace, my love.   

I wonder how many more nights my pillow and my face will be wet with my tears. I really couldn't take all these heart breaks anymore. Oh God, please have mercy on me. T_____T